I wouldn’t wish recruiting on my worst enemies (well - not all of my enemies)
Not only do you need to get into a school, but you also need to get on the team.
It’s a grueling process for young people.
You are being valued for how you play a sport, not who you are.
But, even most well-adjusted adults still struggle to not equate their worth with their works. And, now you’re asking an 18 year old to not take it personally when Alabama ghosts them in favor of another player.
But, it’s an even more grueling process for parents.
College is the penultimate goal in American society.
It’s the 2024 embodiment of achieving the American Dream for your kids.
It’s a way to say to yourself: Welp - at least we got him into so-and-so University. We did our part. Now it’s up to him.
My theory is that college feels like a parent’s last real way to impact their kid’s life trajectory in a meaningful way.
That’s why when a coach points out that your kid has talent and it might help them go play at a college they wouldn’t normally get admitted to but for football it’s easy to go down the recruiting rabbit hole.
Camps, recruiting services, private trainers, tutoring, exposure events, NCSA, and Twitter accounts come flooding your way.
Each component of the recruiting industrial complex offering another small thumb on the scale that might JUST MIGHT tip the table in your kid’s favor to get offered.
The utility of recruiting is that it gets you into colleges you wouldn’t have normally gotten into as a regular student.
But, because of this massive benefit, the sport you are trying get recruited from becomes hyper commoditized. Instead of playing college football because you genuinely love the sport with intrinsic motivation, you are using it as an extrinsically motivated tool - potentially turning a passion into a pain.
I keep coming back to this idea of potential, college and recruiting.
Parents’ sacred American duty is to maximize their kid’s potential. Which is a totally fine and noble charge. It is a good thing to have parents who want the best for their kids.
At the same time, players, especially in football, believe that if they work hard enough anything is possible. Which is sort of true. Hard work does increase the surface area of luck, timing and chance. Hard work can increase the likelihood of something good happening in your life. But, hard work cannot make you 6’5 220lbs and run a 4.5 40 time all the time.
Hard work cannot guarantee that a college coach will offer you.
To “settle” on a D3 school when you had D1 schools talking to you feels like, to many players, them limiting their God-given potential. Deep down every player - or at least the overwhelming majority of them I’ve worked with - feel like “I’m D1. If I work hard enough I can do it”
No player wants to look at their non-D1 options and say to themselves: “Well, this is it. This is where my potential taps out.”
Maybe that is true. Recruiting is a whacky enough world where there are many scenarios every year of D3 talent finding its way onto D1 rosters and conversely D1 talent trickling down to D3 levels.
But, being on the team is very different from being on the field or contributing in any meaningful way to the wins column of a D1 program.
I don’t think playing time in college really matters for a lot of recruits coming out of high school.
It’s more important for them to feel accepted as a person with “D1 potential” than it means to play on the field at the college level, albeit at a smaller school.
That’s the fickle thing with potential. Its wispy nature provides enough cover for a recruit to confuse a delusion with a dream.
College recruiting assesses your potential, not as a human being, but as a college football player. But, to most young people, a lot, if not all, of their self-worth is wrapped up tightly in their idea of who they as an athlete.
The portal makes this potential-chasing even worse.
At the first sign of adversity, a single click of a button jettisons a struggling freshmen back into the rigamarole of recruiting at probably the very moment when they might need to stay put and stick out their adversity most.
Why are so many players diving back into being recruited? Because it feels nicer than having a college coach yell at you. It feels better being in a context where your potential can be fulfilled again. It feels better to be wanted (no matter how flimsy of a veneer it might be) than to be coached. It feels better to be on the hunt than to be “settled”.
So, what is it - college recruiting - for?
It depends on who you ask.
I find a few different groups:
I just want to play ball - This is the easiest group of recruits and their families. They just want to play football wherever they can, see the field quick and go to a college generally with their desired degree. They’ll basically go anywhere and play for anyone. And, thus, recruiting is a much easier process.
I just want to play at a high academic school - These families and players are more particular about where they want to play. They want a college or university with a great academic reputation like the Ivy League, Patriot League or D3 NESCACs. But, even within this universe there is a high-academic version of D1 or bust. Some families only consider the Ivies, when physically or talent wise, playing at an Amherst or Williams college makes a lot more sense.
I’ll only play college football if I can play D1 - These guys never pan out. They will only want to train to play college football if they know they can be D1 for sure, but because they need a guarantee to work hard to know it will pay off, they never fully commit.
Ultimately, I think the core timeless struggle with college recruiting - and probably college in general - is defining what success looks like for each player and their parents.
What’s success look like for us?
I don’t think asking this question will solve all your problems. In fact, it might create more of them! But, at least diving into the messiness of this question will gain a player and their parents some clarity.
Maybe another way of asking this question is this:
What’s enough for us?
Is it just having your kid happy?
Is it having your kid on a team where they play a lot and have a great coach?
Is it having your kid in a school with the degree they want AND on a team where they can play early?
Defining “enough” is a super power, indeed.
Brendan
P.S. When you’re ready, I’ve got 2 spots open for my live workshop “The Recruiting Workshop” Tuesday 5/28 8pm. Participants will each get a 30 minute strategy call with me as well afterwards.
P.P.S. I’m starting a new group, DIY Recruiting. I’ll give you everything you need to run your own recruiting, we’ll have weekly live calls where I’ll answer all you Q’s and connect with other parents, and players as well. I’ve got 1 spot left for June 2024. email [email protected] if interested.